Last Meeting

It was a rather blustery, windy and cool day when we gathered at the home of Blair and Laura Prior for the Saturday, October 15th outing. Our spirits however were not dampened so after some hot coffee and goodies and exploring around the Priors’ out buildings, we set out on our final tour of the season. We had 3 vintage cars in the procession, the Priors’ 1950 Chevrolet 4-door fastback, Frank Wiggin’s 1940 Chevrolet business coupe which I, (Bruce P.) had the pleasure of riding in and a 1967 Plymouth Barracuda belonging to Elaine Gaudet and husband, Wayne Johnson.

We enjoyed the fall scenery as we travelled to the village of Bristol, Quebec. The place we visited was the Coronation Hall Cider Mill. It was a former dance hall built in 1936. It is still used to host social and community events, like an art exhibit, quilt show and theatre festivals. The Coronation Cider Mills started in 2003, but officially opened in 2008. The business is owned and operated by the Graham family who are from the area. Our guide was Greg Graham. He explained and showed us all of the operation from when the apples come in to when they go out as apple cider, wine, juice and other related products. There is a cafeteria on the premises where you could have delicious home made apple pie as well as different teas and coffee. Of course none of us could pass that up!

From Bristol we drove on to the Willow Lane Alpaca farm not too far from the first stop. Laird Graham gave us the information of the operation and let us pet some of the young animals. They are surprisingly quiet even when they are grouped together in the barns. After we saw them, we went into the shop where they sell numerous items from the alpaca wool or fleece. Some of them are rugs, socks, scarves yarns, insoles and felt pet therapy mats to name some of them. Mr. Graham also played and sang a tune for us at the piano in the shop.

Once we were all done there, we headed back to Memory Lane Farm to have a short meeting and then the traditional potluck dinner which we were well in need of and of course fellowship. I counted a total of 21 members and guests that came out that day. We want to thank Blair and Laura Prior for arranging the tour and hosting us at their lovely home. I, Bruce P. also want to thank Blair for keeping a rear bumper for my 1951 Plymouth in storage for 4 or so years which I made sure to take back with me after the day’s events. So once again another Rideau Valley tour season has come to an end. -------------- Bruce Pettinger

No matter how hard you try, you can never get rid of a smile by giving it away. It always comes back to you.

Activities – Rideau Valley:

November 20th: Election of officers, with pot luck, at the home of Art and Nancy Peppy. See details in Next Meeting below.

December 10th: Christmas Party hosted by John and Sheila Hearne.

Activities – National:

November 12th: National Executive meeting hosted by Tri-Lakes Region.

December 4th: Motor City Car Club/H.A.S.C. Flea Market at the International Centre.

Trivia Quiz

1. In 1964, a 25% tariff was imposed on trucks imported into the US. What is the common nickname for this tariff?

2.When were voluntary import restraints first placed on Japanese cars?

Natural Laws

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Variation Law - If you change lanes (or traffic) lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings..

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers- If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances are of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible of you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctor’s Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better, but don’t make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

---------------Bruce Pettinger

Daylight Savings Time

Arizona is the only state in the United States that does not recognize daylight savings time. Saskatchewan is the only Canadian province that does not have it either. Neil Tompkins says that this is probably because of an old Indian who once said “Only the government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it into the bottom and have a longer blanket”.

Parliament Hill is where people get up and speak then say nothing. Nobody listens to them anyway then everybody disagrees with what they said.

Who built the First Utility – Where – When... (by Gary Warner)

The story of the utility truck or coupe utility – the ute – began in 1932, when a letter was received by Ford Australia’s plant at Geelong, Victoria. It was written by a farmer’s wife who’d had enough of riding to church in the farm truck and arriving in saturated clothing. “Why don’t you build people like us a vehicle to go to church on a Sunday and which can carry our pigs to market on Mondays?” her letter asked. Bank managers at the time would lend money to farmers to buy a farm truck, but not a passenger car, hence the plea from one very fed up woman!

It arrived on the desk of managing director Hubert French who, instead of dictating a polite dismissal, passed the letter on to the sales manager Scott Inglis. He in turn showed it to the plant superintendent Slim Westman and the two of them took it to Ford Australia’s design department, which in 1932 consoled of one man.

Lewis Thornet Bandt was 22 years old and had already been singled out for bigger things with Ford. Interviewed shortly before his death in 1987, Bandt recalled the moment when Westman and Inglis came to him with the letter. “The whole thing had started to germinate.” said Bandt.

“Westman quite rightly reckoned that if we cut down a car and put a tray on the back, the whole thing would tear in half once there was weight in the back.”

“I told him I would design it with a frame that came from the very back pillar, through to the central pillars, near the doors. I would arrange for another pillar to further strengthen that weak point where the cabin and tray joined. I said to Westman, “Boss, them pigs are going to have a luxury ride around the city of Geelong!”

Bandt began by sketching the coupe utility on a 10 metre blackboard, depicting a front view as well as side and rear elevations. When they were seen by Westman some weeks later, he told Bandt to build two prototypes. On a wheelbase of 112 inches, with a rear tray that was 5 feet 5 inches long and had a payload of 1200 pounds, they were the first vehicles to also offer a comfortable all-weather cabin.

On first sight of the prototypes Scott Inglis authorized a startup production run of 500 vehicles. Westman asked for – and got – 10,000 pounds currency for tooling and the first coupe utilities rolled off the Geelong assembly line in 1934.

Born out of a woman’s frustration with car designs of the day, the enclosed cab utility was initially regarded as a luxury, but the “ute” was quickly accepted as a necessity of bush life and won recognition around the world as the ideal farmer’s or tradesman’s vehicle.

-------------- (obtained from Ford Australia Public Relations and A History of the Ford Motor Company in Australia by Geoff Easdown ------------ Bruce P.)

What is Service?

I became confused when I heard the word ‘service’ used with these agencies: -Banking ‘Service’ -Postal ‘Service’ -Telephone ‘Service’ -Cable ‘Service’ -City ‘Service’ -Customer ‘Service’.

This is not what I thought ‘Service’ meant. Then I visited my uncle, he’s a farmer. He was talking about hiring a bull to ‘Service’ his cows. Suddenly BAM!!! It all came clear. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us!

--------------- with thanks to Mark McKeeman

Regional Flashback

Twenty-nine members and guests of the Rideau Valley Region met at the home of Blair and Laura Prior, Memory Lane Farm, at noon on Sunday, October 18th, for the last outdoor event of the season. Tea, coffee and goodies were awaiting us in Laura’s big country kitchen where the wood stove added just that much more to the warmth of the reception.

We were especially glad to welcome Jim Shier who, with Stan Priebe, had made the journey from Pembroke to join us for the day. We are happy to report that Jim is in good spirits, is slowly recovering from the burns he received in that tragic fire last winter and is now working to get his life back together. God bless you Jim!!

Before setting out on the tour organized by Blair and Laura, a short meeting was called to order by President Bob Belier. Several items of importance were discussed, not the least of which was the suggestion that the 1999 Normoska Tour be hosted by the Rideau Valley Region. If we are to do so, National must be informed by the November 7th National Meeting. Considerable debate followed the suggestion, with the membership present divided as to the feasibility of taking on the project.

Normoska would be held at the Smugglers Cove Campgrounds near Picton, Ontario, where there is plenty of room and adequate accommodation available. It was understood that National President Fred Elliott would take on the responsibility of organizing the camping, banquet, meals and other requirements centered near the site. Rideau Valley members would lay out the daily tours, possibly with some assistance from local people who are more familiar with the area, and would look after other details as required. After several shows of hands, a sufficient number of the members present indicated their willingness to take on the various responsibilities and organize the event from the Rideau Valley end. A motion was then tabled that we proceed with organizing and hosting the 1999 Normoska Tour and, following a show of hands, the motion was carried. Further details follow below.

Following the meeting, we set out on the day’s tour. Leaving Memory Lane Farm, we drove west on Highway 148, passing through some of the best farmland in Pontiac County. There were beef and dairy farms on both sides of the road, along with some large cash crop farms. In Shawville, we passed by the new Canadian Tire and Giant Tiger stores. Near Portage Du Fort we stopped at the Pontiac Mill of Consolidated Bathurst, Stone Container (Canada) Inc., for a tour of the facility.

Before starting the mill tour, we were given a short talk, followed by a 20 minute video which outlined the various steps in the process from the preparation of the logs or wood chips to the final product, the pulp used by other companies in the manufacture of photographic and other types of fine papers. We were then fitted out with hard hats and gas masks (for use only in the event of a leak of toxic gas in the mill) and were divided into groups. We were then guided through the mill where the various steps in the process were pointed out and explained. What with the noise and heat, it was difficult to ask many questions, but our guides were most helpful and informative and the tour most interesting.

Leaving the mill, we drove past Dolomex Inc., a quarry and processing plant which produces Agricultural Limestone, then on to Portage Du Fort. Here we drove past stone buildings which date back to before the great fire of 1915 which destroyed all of the original wooden frame buildings.

From Portage, we drove to a camp on the shores of the Ottawa River, owned and managed by the Tim Horton Donut chain for the use of underprivileged children who would not otherwise be able to go to camp, or even to have a vacation. The layout of the camp and its buildings, and the activities available, were most impressive. Many of you will recall the accident last summer in which a float plane landed on the river nearby, with its wheels extended, and flipped over. Fortunately there were no injuries, save to the ego of the pilot who had considerable experience in this type of aircraft. Please folks, keep buying those Tim Horton products!! The proceeds are put to good use helping these kids!!

Leaving the camp, we drove to the great metropolis of Quyon where we stopped and enjoyed a roast beef (spaghetti for some misguided souls!) dinner, with pies and all the trimmings, and an evening of good HASC fellowship, before heading for home. The ownership of the restaurant had changed in August of this year and the new owners were pleased to cater to our dinner. They would welcome our club back again.

Many thanks to Blair and Laura for a terrific day. What a way to wind up the season!! Blair says that “the cowgirls/cowboys looked good!!”

The Tiny Cabin

A social worker from a big City (Ottawa) recently transferred to Grimsby Ont., a small community. This was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life. Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. “Anybody home?” she asked. “Yep,” came a kid’s voice through the door. “Is your father there?” asked the social worker. “Pa? Nope, he left before Ma came in,” said the kid. “Well, is your mother there?” persisted the social worker. “Ma? Nope, she left just before I got here,” said the kid. “But,” protested the social worker are you never together as a family?”

“Sure but not here,” said the kid through the door....... “This is the Outhouse!”

----------------- with thanks to Hilary Faris

Understanding Engineers

Understanding Engineers One
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.” The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway.”

Understanding Engineers Two
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!” The doctor chimed in, “I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!” The priest said, “Here comes the green-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” He said, “Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” The green-keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”

The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.” The doctor said, “Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.” The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”

Understanding Engineers Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with an arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

Understanding Engineers Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.” Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.” The last one said, “No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”

Understanding Engineers Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week.” The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.” Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?” The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool

------------------ with thanks to Mark McKeeman

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy.

Next Meeting

The next activity for the Region will be our annual meeting for the election of Officers, to be held at the home of Art and Nancy Peppy on Sunday, November 20th at 2 P.M. Please note that Nominations Director Marilyn Henderson informed us at the last meeting that those who currently hold office are deemed to have accepted the position for the next year unless she hears otherwise from them. Give it some thought, bring your ideas to the meeting, make some suggestions and be prepared to offer your services to your Region and stand for office. A potluck supper will follow the elections. The address is 479 Baillie Road Gatineau QC, phone 819-684-6382.

The Last Word – the Uultimate Touché

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally well read Bible. The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and jewelry

.As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled by his appearance and did not attempt to hide it. As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favour: “Before you come back here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship in church.” The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the cowboy and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church.”

“I did,” replied the old cowboy. “If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping here?” asked the preacher. “Well, sir, God told me that He didn’t have a clue what I should wear. He said He’d never been in this church.”

------------------- with thanks to Brenda Passmore.

Answers to Trivia Quiz

Answer#1 – The “Chicken War Tariff”

Answer#2 – March, 1981

Bruce Pettinger, Editor,

E-mail: PettingerB@DFO-MPO.GC.CA

R. E. (Ted) Fiander, Regional Reporter,

E-mail: tedabel@magma.ca

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